Valley of the Lost Dollar Store Cinema!

Billionaire oil tycoon and big-game hunter Richard Boone announces the discovery of a lost world hidden inside the warm pocket of a dormant volcano at the north pole and upon arriving, Boone and his team find that the hidden world is populated with both prehistoric humans and dinosaurs. Although the humans give the explorers a fair bit of trouble, the real danger is the guy in the rubber tyrannosaurus rex suit intent on making lunch out of the Great White Hunter and his crew. I remember watching this made-for-TV movie as a youth with awe and excitement, but as an older, jaded viewer, I can't help but wonder who the audience of this movie was intended to be. The storyline tried to be as "grown up" as possible but the special effects were something akin to an episode of Stingray or Thunderbirds. In an attempt at irony, the movie's title refers more to Boone's character, Maston Thrust, than the guy in the rubber suit because the guy in the rubber suit isn't actually the last dinosaur. Triceratops and pterodactyl run amok in the lush, tropical caldera at the frozen top of the earth. Thrust is meant to be portrayed as a womanizing, hunting type of man's man, but he looks and acts more like an overworked garbage man on his lunch break.

I'm fairly certain Richard Boone was probably drunk through most of the shooting of this movie, doubtlessly due to the sorry state of his career at the time, playing a two-dimensional character in a movie one could hperbolically refer to as Jaws with a dinosaur. The guy was Paladin, for cryin' out loud!

Rankin & Bass, those animation geniuses who brought us all those classic Christmas specials and the made-for-TV animated adaptation of The Hobbit, were the producers of The Last Dinosaur, which explains Boone's involvement in the movie. Boone's unmistakable voice brought The Hobbit's legendary dragon Smaug to life. Along with some equally bad acting on the part of Joan Van Ark, a gutsy photojournalist Boone refers to as "Crazy Lady," are some pretty amusing slow-motion shots that, although meant for impact, fall short of being Sam Peckenpah-esque.

Since acquiring this jewel on DVD, complete with hard-coded Japanese subtitles, I've probably watched it about a dozen times. The Last Dinosaur, as bad as it is, takes me back to my childhood every time and I can't help but wonder why no one ever remade it. With today's CGI effects, it could perhaps even rival Jurassic Park. Aw, who am I kiddin'. It's terrible. Even my kids won't watch it!